I Can't Be a Narcissist Because I Have No Flaws

I make fun of the commercials I see on a daily basis. Knowing that the ideals advertisers preach are ridiculous and ineffective is one of the few pleasures I have in this world. So it's easy to imagine how much it breaks my balls to hear friends and acquaintances spew commercial jargon back at me during conversation. First off, I don't understand this whole “on-the-go" lifestyle that everyone is apparently living. Do we really need things like yogurt in a squeeze bottle or can we just sit down and take the one and a half minutes it takes to eat a yogurt? Some things are just not made to be done on-the-go. For example, If you need to carry your dog around in a little tote bag with little doggie bowls so you can feed him while you’re out and about, you need to plan your day better. Your dog is not a possession or a fashion accessory. Leave your dog at home, or I will take his adorable face and crush it over your head.