I Can't Be a Narcissist Because I Have No Flaws

I chose the title for this chapter from a shopping excursion I was on. I was looking for a funny book to give my brother, and I stumbled upon one of those books, For Dummies, you know with the yellow heading and the goofy cartoon guy on front with the googley eyes. The book I picked up was something innocent enough, Investing for Dummies or something like that. But when I put it down, I noticed an entire rack of books. Shelves upon shelves of instructions for dummies. For dummies! They had everything from acrylic painting for dummies to Neuro-Linguistic Programing for Dummies. I mean come on, neuro-lingustic programming? Really? This might be a good time to add that on the cover of some of these books, they have the gall to write in red letters: “Knowledge, for the rest of us.”

Ok, I can understand how that would apply for a book like basic arithmetic for dummies. But who the fuck, decided that neuro-lingusitc programming was a skill that needed to be taught to dummies? Most people I know don’t have any idea what neuro-lingusitc programming is, let alone how to do it, so where does this “rest of us” come in. Nobody understands this shit. We don’t need a version for morons. Stupid people shouldn’t even be attempting this kind of stuff. They should be at home, playing with their erector set.

That’s just one example. I swear they had a book for every activity imaginable. I’m surprised they didn’t have one called reading for dummies. I wouldn’t put it past them to publish something like that. Would you? Go down to a major bookstore if you have time. Take a look at the For Dummies section, I promise you will have a good laugh. Just don’t forget to bring your copy of sense of humor for dummies.