I Can't Be a Narcissist Because I Have No Flaws

I wonder how the French feel when Americans say, pardon my French. I would be le pissed. I realize that isn’t funny, but it’s insulting, isn’t it? Isn’t that saying that the French are obscene?There are a lot of things that we say which don’t make sense at all. I've seen chocolate commercials and thought to myself, what does decadent chocolate taste like? Unless the piece of chocolate arrives at my mouth lying on a fucking throne eating grapes or is wearing a Versace gown, I seriously doubt that it is decadent. A lot of words describing food are intentionally vague. When cake is described as airy or shrimp as succulent, you get a general sense of moisture, but nobody would use these modifiers in everyday speech.

I have a personal boycott against any product that does not at least make an attempt to be honest in its language. And you know what else pisses me off? When Mcdonalds and other junk companies tell me that their double cheeseburger is only a buck, and I go in there with a dollar and they turn me away.You would think that a company that has to warn its customers that their coffee is going to be hot, wouldn’t assume that people automatically include tax when they are collecting change for lunch. It’s ok to say something is only ninety-nine cents, because we’ve been conditioned to round that up in our heads, but to tell people that all they need is a dollar is an evil lie. Especially because in the godamn commercials they show Jonny America getting a hot meal by handing the clerk a single Washington. Apparently there’s no sales tax in commercials. I guess it’s understandable when you consider how out-of-touch with reality the executives of big businesses are.